Grad School Musings

"Today is mine. Tomorrow is none of my business. If I peer anxiously into the fog of the future, I will strain my spiritual eyes so that I will not see clearly what is required of me now." -Elisabeth Elliot

I am in an introspective mood today as I sit in my living room, sipping my second mug of hot apple cider and nibbling a few cookies. I'm studying Agriculture at Tarleton State University so I can be able to help people of different countries raise crops and livestock.

Agricultural concepts, while still a bit strange, are exciting and interest me deeply. The benefits of my classes are not simply intellectual, either. The knowledge I gain of working land and animals seems to weave its way into my reading of the Bible as well. Jesus' parable of the sower in Matthew 13 comes alive as I remember what it was like to sow legume seeds into a plowed field a month ago. I can more fully relate to the hard working farmer in 2 Timothy 2:6. In Animal Science class last week, hearing how to prevent predator attacks on a flock called to mind how Jesus is the Good Shepherd. As I also catch and pin various six-legged nasties for Entomology, I have to remind myself that God not only created them... but He also called them good. (Your ways are not my ways, Lord.)

However, amongst the bustle of studying for tests that are coming up, there's an interesting tug-of-war that is going on in my spirit. While graduate school has been full of new experiences, all of this learning launches my imagination to wonder about future possibilities. Then, like a swelling wave, comes anxiety. What job will I get? What country will I go to? Will I get married or remian single? What does the future look like? But then. Then I'm reminded that God chose me before the creation of the earth, and that my work is not in vain. Silly me. Breath returns, and I keep studying. This is the daily rinse and repeat cycle of my spirit.

Where will I be in five years? 6 months? tomorrow? I don't really know. But I can praise God that he alone holds my future. All I can do is live in the present here in Stephenville, TX while making sure eternity is constantly on my mind.

I do not know what tomorrow will bring. For what is my life? I'm a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead, I ought to say, "If the Lord wills, I will live and do this or that." -Outlook taken from James 4:14-15