I wrote this a while back and wanted to blog it in order to describe the season of life I find myself in at the moment.
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     This is a new season in life for me. A wise woman recently told me that no matter how old I get, I will always be facing circumstances I've never faced before. So, she said, it's good to not know what I'm doing, because I never will.

     God gives you and I passions so we can use them to glorify Him in all the nations. I just read a blog entry from a friend of mine that stated the same message. God's given me passion for writing, telling people who Jesus is, science, and the people of Africa. It has been a recent pleasure to get a job at a well respected nursery/growing project in my city. I've been able to learn things like how to grow new crops, amend soil, and treat insect problems in plants.

     While I enjoy every new day working, living in my first apartment, and serving in the local church, the question of the horizon is constantly in front of me. What will I be doing in six months? Next year? There are so many possibilities, and with them comes the pressure of making decisions. This is where, in my weak fleshly nature, I begin to stress.

What if I make the wrong decision?
What if I miss the deadlines for attending grad school at A&M in the fall?
Should I just go to Africa now?

     The feeling of being a lazy, aimless wanderer creeps in. Sure I graduated college, but what next? Where am I going? What am I supposed to be doing? What a driven culture you and I live in today. Three months of being separated from deadlines, assignments, and receiving grades makes me wonder if I'm being productive at all.

     All the while, the God of the universe who hung the stars and indwells my very soul sees every drop of worried sweat I shed and says, "Seek first My kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. So stop worrying about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own, child."

     My God is in control. He will guide me. He will be made known to all nations, and by His grace alone through Christ alone, I will get to be a part of it. So whatever season I'm in, whether I feel as though I'm driven or drifting, He is my contentment. God is peace. He is showing me how to please Him and love others every day, wherever His sovereign will places me.

     "You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain... Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." -Psalm 139:1-6,16

     What hope! God's assurance and hope isn't just for me to have, hold, write about, and use to pursue my dreams. He hasn't given you and I passions simply for the sake of giving us a way to have interesting lives. If these passions don't move me to proclaim to a hopeless world that Jesus is the only hope of salvation, I'm missing the point. I get to pursue and utilize my passions so that God can pursue and utilize me for His glory. How beautiful!