Readings

"The parable of the talents [in Matthew 25] says that we are accountable-- not to mention much happier-- when we are exercising our gifts and being productive. It takes work, practice, learning, prayer, resources, and grace to overcome the fear of failure that the 'wicked and lazy' servant gave in to. He was not chastised for being afraid; we are all afraid when trying something new and difficult. He was chastised for not confronting his fear and trying the best he could. Not confronting our fear denies the grace of God and insults both his giving of the gift and his grace to sustain us as we are learning."



Cloud, H. and J. Townsend. 1992. Boundaries: when to say yes, how to say no to take control of your life. Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Retrospect

While looking at old files from my time at Tarleton, I found a testimony I wrote to share at a Bible study during my first semester. I needed this backwards glance into the Lord's work in my life. The struggle of anxiety mentioned in this speech has been excruciatingly real this past week. As I work to complete a thesis, deadlines and the pressure of what I don't yet know has been ominously intruding on almost every thought that tries to cross my mind. Isn't it amazing how persistently a certain struggle or hang-up can follow us? If you can relate, spend some time reflecting on where you've been and what God's brought you to and through. Here's my edition:

What has God done in my life this semester?

October 23, 2012- Tarleton BSM- I Am Second Bible Study

            I’m Elizabeth Casey, and I am a first semester graduate student here at Tarleton. I am going for a Masters in Agriculture. To lay out some background on who I am, part of the I Am Second Bible study material asked me to write out the story of how I changed by becoming a Christian. Well, I trusted Jesus as my Savior when I was six years old, and I know that that was when God led me to become a Christ-follower.  So instead of a before Jesus and after Jesus story, I decided to write out the story of something that has been a struggle for me throughout my life with Jesus. I have regularly struggled with anxiety about my future. Since I was little, I wanted to have a plan of action for my life. I was deciding on where to go to college when I was in the fifth grade. I’ve always been driven in school, and I put a lot of pride into where my good grades would get me one day.

            Then in highschool, I had a youth pastor and a group of Christian friends who told me to look to the Bible for guidance in my future. They said to pray and wait for God’s direction. So I started doing that. Since then, God has refocused my perspective on the future. He brought me from chasing what I can gain out of life through my planning and my performance—to how I can give up everything and serve peoples of other nations. It doesn’t make sense. God sent me overseas on mission trips, lead me to attend Bible college, and then here to study agriculture so I can help people with their crops and livestock while telling them about Jesus.  That was the story I wrote out for I Am Second.

During this semester:

            God has been constant throughout all of the change that goes into moving to a new city and starting a new program at a new school. I got my undergraduate degree in a mixture of Biblical Studies and Anthropology. I was neither a member of FFA, nor did I grow up on a farm. So needless to say, this has been a semester of many academic firsts for me to say the least.

But He is so good. I was expecting to be looked down upon in my classes since I don’t have an Ag background, but that didn’t happen. God actually connected me with a couple of Christian professors who believe in what I want to do with my degree overseas. They are now guiding me in my classes and even enjoy introducing me to things like driving a tractor and setting up crop research. Being tested over ruminants, insects, soil chemistry, and agricultural statistics for the first time in my life has been overwhelming at times. But God has refreshed and affirmed my decision to study here.

 People look at my life and think that I’m good. A girl I worked with this past year would call me Mother Theresa. And some days, I’d believe her. I start thinking about what I want to do with my life, and think that I really am a pretty good person.

But this semester, God has humbled me! He has shown me that I have very little to do with my life. I love, because He loved me first. He saved me. He matures me in His word. He has sent me overseas. He broke my heart for people of other nations. He planted a passion for science in me and has provided the means for me to study here at Tarleton. He connects me with people who love Jesus and encourage me in the faith. I can’t take credit for anything. All I really do is try to cling to Christ and daily prove that I need a Savior to guide me. So this semester, God continues to show me that the goals I have for my own future are not meant to be a reflection of me, but of Him and His work.

Jestem podekscytowany, aby odwiedzić Polskę!

The title means, "I'm excited to visit Poland!" I get to attend and present research on herbaceous legumes at an agricultural science symposium in Bydgoszcz, Poland! You can see a window into Bydgoszcz through this youtube video! I leave tomorrow with a group of professors and fellow graduate students from Tarleton. I am very excited to have been given this opportunity!

I can't wait to meet professors and agricultural students from Poland, Hungary, the Czech Republic, Italy, and a couple more countries. We will be the only group from an American university in attendance. I hope we're not too loud and obnoxious compared to the other groups! The city of Bydgoszcz is in northern Poland with the Brda and Vistula Rivers going through it. The main events I know about other than the symposium include a castle tour and a 24 hr. layover in London, England on the way back to America.

Those are the facts. Other than that, I'm along for the ride! I'll try to blog while I'm there. You know I'll be posting pictures!

23 wks ago

Kim,

23 weeks ago (according to the ever-reliable Instagram), I came to the library while you were studying to give you a giraffe mug. I saw it in World Market and thought of you immediately. I'm studying at a table right in front of the study room you were in that day. 239- the one with the window! It was nice and sunny when I came in the room, and I remember you had some cheesy worship music playing on Pandora. Haha, I decided it was best just to go with it and jam. You were working on a project about the second Titanic being built. We laughed because we weren't sure if we'd want to actually ride on it...

I would so be texting you right now to laugh about the Titanic (take 2). But since I can't, I'll write it here instead. Love and miss you so much. I'm so thankful that I know- past religious sentiment and warm-fuzzies- that you are with Jesus himself. Goodness girl, I'm jealous. Have fun adoring him for eternity. I heard there's a huge tree with 8 different types of fruit on it in Heaven (it's in Revelation). As an Ag major... I don't see that happening this side of eternity. Go eat some of it for me.

Catch you on the flip side, hermanita. <3

Genocide and Grace

I'm blogging from my apartment's living room, and I just finished watching Hotel Rwanda the movie (and every special feature offered)for the first time. I was shocked by the film and deeply moved by Paul Rusesabagina's story. He saved 1,268 Rwandans during horrible genocide in 1994 using his status of assistant manager of the Hotel des Mille Collines in Rwanda. The film was released in 2004, so I'm sure many of y'all have seen it. If you haven't, like I hadn't before tonight, please watch it.

While watching the real Paul Rusesabagina tell parts of his story on a special feature, my mind flashed back to the day I stood in the Choeng Ek Killing Fields Museum in Cambodia, listening to my friend Kyle tell his personal account of surviving the Khmer Rouge. Then, I thought of the trip I will soon take to Poland for a study abroad. The group I am with may get the opportunity to visit the Auschwitz-Berkinau State Museum in modern south Poland. This is the site of one of the most well-known Nazi concentration and extermination camps from WWII. I also remembered some of the ghastly sites I saw during my visit to the Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C.

It is so difficult to believe that:

1) These three genocides happened.
2) Many more genocides have occurrd around the world.
3) If people, for whatever reason, were unaware of and/or uninterested in these three genocides in the past, there may be some happening today.


Those are three very sobering thoughts.

I'm going to transition from the hatred of genocide to the topic of my own heart. How many times do I get angry with someone and don't forgive them? Track with me. A pastor said this morning that sometimes, even after the God of the Bible says to forgive- that he is the Judge- it is easy to say, "No, thanks. I am not going to do that. I want to let this offense steep for a while." I agree that this is easy to say. I am often tempted by the wound-licking act of refusing to extend mercy. But when I give into unforgiveness, I forget the rich mercy shown to me by Jesus and many other people in my life.

When I see evil in this world, I will react in one way or another. My reaction to Hotel Rwanda was a blend of anger, shocked fear towards the depth of man's sinful condition, and the hope of what a righteous man can be used to do. When I was at the Choeng Ek Museum in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, I had a bit of a momentary crisis of faith that I think relates to the anger I felt during Hotel Rwanda. Suprisingly, this moment didn't happen while I walked on a path surrounded by divots in the ground that had once served as mass graves for thousands of innocent people. It didn't come when I saw victims' old clothes, shoes, and strips of cloth that had been used as blindfolds. The crisis came when I read a display describing the top men in the hierarchy of the deadly Khmer Rouge.

One man, Kang Kek Iew, was photographed with his communist title, Comrade Duch, typed below his picture. This man oversaw the systematic torture and murder of some 17,000 Cambodians in the S-21 prison in the mid 1970's. Near the end of his short biography, I read that after dropping off the authorities' radar when his work with the Khmer Rouge was complete, he became a born-again Christian. Wait. If this is true, and only God knows this man's heart, then according to what I believe, this man will be in Heaven with me one day. This man. This man who helped fill the mass graves I just stared into. Forgiven? Aquitted by God?

I remember becoming confused and angry with God. I stepped outside the museum for a moment and wrestled with the questions, "How could he let this man just be washed of all the penalty of his sins? How is his soul's 'crimson stain' of murdering masses of innocent people 'washed white as snow'?"

Then it hit me like a painful migrane. Grace.

My brain was racked trying to wrap my mind around the weight of this new realization of Jesus. His grace and mercy is given to absolutely ANY person who repents and trusts in him for salvation from the wrath of God. His death on the cross paid the debt of ANY and all sin. In that moment, I realized my dwarfed theology. Before that moment, I would never have said consciously that I think some people are forgivable while others are unforgivable. However, that is exactly where my anger at God sprang from after reading about Kang Kek Iew's conversion. Grace is much weightier than I thought.

Not that Iew's conversion brought his 17,000 victims back to life. Not that it righted the traumatizing effect of the man's crimes in the least. But, as I reflect on the movie I just watched and the evil I have seen in the world, I am also reminded of the only source of grace that can cover the penalty of sin in a person's life.

"If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." -1 John 1:8-9

Japan meets Texas meets Cusco

It has shaped up to be a very international summer! After returning to Texas from Guatemala, a good Japanese friend of mine visited for about a week. He was studying abroad at the University of Oregon, and my friend and I met him on a college ministry trip we took back in January with our school's BSM. Before returnig to Japan, he wanted to see the rustic west, and we were thrilled to show him! Some close Tarleton friends and I had a fantastic time showing him around Dallas, Ft. Worth, and Stephenville. It was unforgettable to reconnect with our friend! As sad as it was to see him go, I am glad he is back home safely in Japan.

I am now blogging from Cusco, Peru! After a cancelled flight in Lima and lots of sleeping in terminals, my team and I were welcomed with a giant banner, balloons, and new smiling Peruvian friends! They work with a ministry called Zona Segura (check them out on facebook). The ministry reaches out to 18-25(ish) yr olds in Cusco. They provide a "safe zone," as the name describes, by building relationships with people, telling them of salvation in Christ, and teaching them everything Jesus taught! My team will be working alongside them this week in different schools and universities. There will also be an opportuntiy to go into the mountain villages in Cusco. We will also get to visit Macchu Pichu on our last day! I am very excited to see what God doe this week. The team consists of teo amazing families, 2 beautiful girls from my church, my parents, and four of my closest friends!

I love y'all! Thank you for your thoughts and prayer!

Guatemala Synopsis

"Then Moses made Israel set out from the Red Sea, and they went into the wilderness of Shur. They went three days in the wilderness and found no water. When they came to Marah, they could not drink the water of Marah because it was bitter; therefore it was named Marah. And the people grumbled against Moses, saying, “What shall we drink?” And he cried to the Lord, and the Lord showed him a log, and he threw it into the water, and the water became sweet.
There the Lord made for them a statute and a rule, and there he tested them, saying, “If you will diligently listen to the voice of the Lord your God, and do that which is right in his eyes, and give ear to his commandments and keep all his statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you that I put on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, your healer.” - Exodus 15:22-26

This was a passage of Scripture that the Guatemalan pastor of the Church of God in Candelaria read in Spanish upon my team's arrival in his village. From day one, my American team and the Guatemalan Living Water Intl. staff were welcomed with open arms, delicious food, and expectant smiles by the people of Nueva Candelaria. Until this day, there was no governmental or organizational aid going into their village. What an incredible honor to be a conduit of God's love in this remote area on the eastern coast of Guatemala! The Lord does not use super-humans to do his will. I am living proof that he uses ordinary, broken, scatter-brained people to meet others' needs.

If I were to summarize this trip in three words, they would be FULL (We were awake for work before the sun rose and asleep after it had set), DIRTY (I was covered with the 'elements' of a drilling rig on a pretty constant basis), and REFRESHING (I cannot think of a better way for the Lord to have quenched my parched tongue after such a difficult semester).
I got to see the hues of meeting the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs of Nueva Candeliaria converge through Living Water Intl. Here's a bit about how this happened:
PHYSICAL
Drilling a 150 ft. deep water well through 4 natural aquifers met a physical need. The village had a shallow open well of about 20 ft. that was easily contaminated by the latrine that was dug at about the same depth. This water and the water from the nearby river are both problematic sources of drinking water. I washed my hands in the village's caramel-colored water and spotted a small, black, worm-like creature floating in my palm. A school teacher later said that their water had many problems with leeches. A child said that after playing at school, he would not want to drink the water that the teachers had to offer him because it tasted bad. But since he was thirsty and the water was the only refreshment available, he would drink it.

EMOTIONAL
Working alongside the Guatemalan villagers of Nueva Candelaria enabled them to take ownership of the water well as a new part of their community and lives. From set up to tear down, men from the village helped our team make the well a reality. We had no intention of walking in, drilling, and leaving without the people understanding and being a vital part of the process. The women of the village sustained the drilling process by cooking lunches for the team, mayor, and pastors who came to drill as well. My leader also mentioned that having women on the drilling team provides the men of Nueva Candelaria an opportunity to see men work alongside women in a biblical, mutually-respectful way. This can speak volumes in a male-dominated society.

INTELLECTUAL
Teaching hygiene and well maintanence supplied the women and children with practical information to imporve their quality of life. The village was equipped with knowledge on how to keep their new gift in running condition, so they will not be dependant on external help (although Living Water Intl. will be in continued correspondance with the village in case help is needed). Other topics that were taught and readily learned included oral hygiene, germ transmission, and diarreah treatment. Sadly, many infants die in these areas from dehydration after bouts with diarreah. Rehydrating the baby with a simple water, salt, and sugar mixture is a very attainable solution that we taught on this trip. I feel like the villagers were the ones who taught me volumes about working together, being hospitable, and simply living life in a productive way.

SPIRITUAL
The hygiene team was also able to share Bible stories during their lessons in the school and the church. So, hundreds of children and their mothers heard of the God who created them and loves them personally. The men also heard the gospel multiple times throughout the well dedication ceremony, as well as through personal conversations on the drilling rig. The drilling and hygiene teams both began each day and each meal with prayer to the only One who can bring success. I was so encouraged when I heard the pastor, mayor, and many members of the church and community say that while the new water well is a beautiful gift, Jesus is the only Living Water. He is the ultimate gift to recieve.

On a personal note, the Lord showed me that I continue to love agriculture, and that I enjoy drilling water wells! You know how you sometimes need reassurance that you actually like what you want to do someday? As a grad student who struggles to trust his guidance sometimes, it was sweet of the Lord to steady me in this fact: I love what he is leading me into. I have also been reminded that I have been blessed in many ways so that I can bless others. Am I Mother Theresa? As awesome as that would be- No. My name's Elizabeth. But I can still make a difference in Jesus' name.

To wrap this synopsis up, I'll share a quick, but very dear story. I thought of my late friend Kim Peacock every day of this trip. On the second day of drilling, I could not get her out of my head... not that I tried very hard. However, for the sake of keeping emotions at bay, I was trying to focus on the drill rig. Emotions finally won. I couldn't hold back tears when I thought about how cool Kim would have thought this whole water drilling experience was. So, I walked over to the van to take a moment to get a drink and collect myself. I prayed.
Lord, I don't understand you, but I do know your character. You are good. You are trustworthy. So, I will trust you. Help me to be fully here in Guatemala. Please heal my heart in this moment without my friend. I trust you with her.

God really did comfort me. I was able to say amen and walk back over to the drilling rig with healing and hope. I found out that night that it was the month anniversary of Kim's death, May 28. I told my team a bit of her story after dinner, and they got to love her and praise God for her life with me. So, the beauty in all this heaviness is that God was glorified in Guatemala in that moment because of Kim. The impact of her sweet faith has officially gone international.

Thank you SO much for your thoughts and prayers for this trip. The well was a success! Connections were made across two different languages and cultures! The gospel was shared! God was glorified! And I even got to make tortillas! All of this is cause for celebration.